Family, Friends & Remembrances
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How I Ended Up in the US
I was living in Bombay, quite content with my life in that vibrant city. I had the good fortune to hold an enviable position at a multinational company, Hindustan Lever, and my career there was flourishing. And yet, beneath that contentment, there was a restlessness stirring somewhere at a subconscious level. That restlessness was fed, in part, by my then-wife Geeta’s growing fascination with the “American dream.” Her cousin lived in Delaware and had filled her ears with stories of the wonderful life to be had in the US, and Geeta wanted that for us. I resisted at first. Having absorbed a very British disdain for American life, I dismissed…
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I am back ………
Over three years after my last entry on this blog, I have decided to resume writing. So much has happened since then…….. For a start, I turned 80 last January and so I am now in the ninth decade of my life! My three children are also getting on—one is in her mid-50s, one in her early 40s and the youngest is in his late 30s. Who would have thunk that I would actually have middle-aged children, or close to it! Two months ago, we moved from Tampa to be close to our son, Amit, and his partner, Brett. Although we are still quite functional, we are at a stage…
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Remembering Marianne Ambrey
The image which appears below was contributed by Roxanne Loget and is a tribute to her best friend, Marianne Ambrey, who was a trainee flight attendant with Pan Am and was killed in the crash of Pan Am Flight 217. The main write up regarding that crash and those who lost their lives appears on this link. I am also adding Roxanne’s comment from last year when she shared some memories and thoughts about Marianne: “I will forever remember the first time we met In August 1967 or 68. I had JUST moved in…or maybe SHE had just moved in… to a shared room in The Lodge, a Victorian mansion…
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“The best kept secret in the hardwood flooring world”
We will be listing our house for sale in the next month and as anyone who has been through the process knows a series of tedious and time-consuming steps are involved in readying the house for sale to optimize its value and saleability. We have been busy having the house painted, giving away tons of stuff to charity and to people who wanted it – all in an effort to declutter the house. Our hardwood floors although basically in good condition looked rather dull after years of use so I wanted to find a way to “revive” its appearance. I did an extensive amount of research and made numerous inquiries…
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Political correctness run amok?
Last weekend, my grandson DJ, came over to spend the afternoon. After a while he asked if I had any funny DVD of TV programs to watch. I told him I had the whole series of “All in the Family” on DVD but I did not think he would find it interesting since although it was a hugely successful program over 40 years ago, it would be a bit dated for a teenager. Surprisingly he seemed to enjoy it but more relevant to this posting was his shock at the things that were said routinely during the program especially by Archie Bunker that today would be deemed politically incorrect and…
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Pranks, humor and jokes
My family knows that I have a proclivity for pranks. In fact, there is a sense of puzzlement among some within the family as to why a man in his mid-sixties is amused by such frivolity. I don’t have an explanation for this. I have loved shows like “Candid Camera” and more modern equivalents that have taken the place of that show. Anyone who lives in the US knows that one of the irritations that one has to put up with is telemarketers who call, often at the most inconvenient times. In days gone by, this used to happen frequently but after legislation which allowed the registration of one’s phone…
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Images pertaining to the crash of Pan Am 217
Robert Contreras, who first commented on my blog entry regarding the crash of Pan Am 217 sent me a number of images ….. some of them quite graphic …… which were published in the Venezuela newspapers at the time of the crash. I am including all of the images ….. the script is in Spanish but barely readable except for the headlines. They can be viewed below. Thanks to Roger for taking the time to send me these images.
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A teacher’s remarkable story
I have never met Kersi Rustomji and first came to know of him through a Yahoo group consisting of mainly Asians who are or were residents in East Africa. We both lived in Kenya until the sixties. Through our common membership in the Yahoo group we occasionally exchanged private messages. We have not always agreed on various issues but Kersi has always come across to me through his communications within the group and privately as an idealist and humanitarian. His opinions are very much founded on these underlying themes. He was a teacher in Kenya and then in Australia where he currently lives. Recently after the death of Neil Armstrong,…
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My pilgrimage of nostalgia
Guest post by Sotantar Sood who lived in Kenya until the mid-1960s, attended Allidina Visram High School and returned to Kenya recently after 46 years. Sotantar currently lives in Canada with his family In February and March of 2012, my wife and I spent 2 weeks in India followed by 3 weeks in Kenya. We go to India every 1 to 2 years to visit my wife’s side of the family. On this trip, after spending 2 weeks in India, we connected to Kenya via Mumbai, on a trip which I called my “pilgrimage of nostalgia”. This trip had been due for 46 years. After completing “A” Levels at Allidina…
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Tribute to Juanita Martinez who died on Pan Am Flight 217
Guest posting contributed by Jill Breitbarth in memory of Juana Maria Martinez. Jill says: “I hope others who knew her will see this and add their own memories.” When I was six-years-old until seven months beyond my twelfth birthday, Juanita Martinez was my other mother, my confidante, and my mentor. Her mothering was not tied up in a complex family legacy of guilt, projection, and survival at all costs: she loved me as clearly as the Caribbean water in the shallows near our home. She showed me how, even with firm tones, guidance could be a kind offering. Juanita also showed me how laughter and sympathy go hand-in-hand; how the…
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Coincidence or can dogs detect cancer?
I had read some months ago that dogs were being trained to detect cancer ……. with some success. But nothing could have been more remarkable than what happened with our very own dog, Max …… a German Shepherd who is just over five years old. Max is an intelligent dog and seems to have a strong sense of smell as evident in the way he goes about finding items as he sniffs around and locates them. German Shepherds are often viewed as “one owner” dogs, in that they develop their greatest affinity to one person in the house. In the case of Max that affinity was towards me. He would…
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“The Arrow of Time”
I am not sure what it is that fascinates me about a website a South American, Diego Goldberg, started some years ago. Goldberg started to take pictures of his family from 1976 to the current year with following explanation: “On June 17th, every year, the family goes through a private ritual: we photograph ourselves to stop, for a fleeting moment, the arrow of time passing by.” Diego’s first pictures are of him and his wife in 1976 and over the years we see pictures of his children – three sons. There is a picture of the family every year right up to 2012 …… fascinating to watch how time has…
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To go or not to go to college ….. that is the question
One of the cultural divides that confronts immigrants to the US and possibly other Western nations is the perspective on career choices when it comes to their children. When I was growing up in Kenya and what happens to this day in India is that children are inculcated with a mind-set that one’s choice of college and educational pursuits is a blend of innate ability, spheres of interest and most importantly, the potential the course of study offers to find a job upon completion of college. This came to mind because of two news events: first, there is mounting concern about the huge student loan debt, in some instances guaranteed…
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Mother’s Day ….. past and present
I must confess that I am not overly enamored by some of the holidays celebrated in the US mainly because of the extent of commercialization that occurs. My biggest gripe is about Christmas which has lost all of its real meaning because of rampant commercialization – and I commented on this in in a prior posting on this blog. The one exception is Mother’s Day which – although also commercialized heavily – is an occasion that I quite enjoy celebrating because it celebrates mothers. Of course, both in India and in Kenya, there was no such thing as Mother’s Day, though I understand that this is changing in the major…
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Pan Am Flight 217 Redux
A few months ago, I posted about the crash of Pan Am Flight 217 in 1968 while en route to Caracas, Venezuela and more specifically about a friend, Franciska Buyers, who was an air stewardess on that flight. More about Franciska and my relationship to her and her family appears on this link. When I first posted about that flight and the tragedy that befell Pan Am 217, it was intended more as a personal tribute to Franciska than anything else. There was nothing on the net that was readily available about her and many of the others on that flight. It was a pleasant surprise when several people commented…
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Men are from Mars, women are from Venus ……. is there a canine equivalent?
“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” was a best seller in the nineties by John Gray that sold over 7 million copies. It essentially sought to highlight the differences between men and women in dealing with problems and issues and how it affects relationships, etc. To segue from this to the focus of this post is, admittedly, a bit of a leap but one cannot help notice how male and female dogs react differently to situations. In fact, this is true of other species of animals as well. We have two German Shepherd dogs, Max and Kaya; actually, Kaya belongs to Saira and Richard – my daughter and…
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“No parent should have to bury their child”
“The young perish and the old linger …………….. no parent should have to bury their child” Theoden in “Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers” When my mother was terminally ill with cancer in 1964, her mother who was then in her late sixties would tell me that she (my grandmother) would like to die. I could not relate to her comment and when I asked her the reason she would merely say that she had lived long enough and was ready to meet her Maker – my grandmother was a deeply spiritual person who believed that what awaited her after death was immeasurably better than her life on earth.…
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Back in “God’s own country”
Yes, we are back in Cochin, Kerala where we spend our winters away from the frigid temperatures of Virginia. I start every trip with a sense of dread over the the long flight from the US to India – a good 17 hours of flying time – but once I am here there is almost a sense of exhilaration. This is all the more remarkable given that I have spent very little time in India over the course of my life and even less time in Kerala. So I am not able to explain the attraction that Kerala has for me. It is clearly not just the warm weather –…
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East is east and west is west ………. when it comes to mourning
It was Rudyard Kipling who said that east is east and west is west and never the twain shall meet. Kipling was referring to India which was then the jewel in the British empire and Kipling, like other colonial apologists, maintained that the cultural bridge between Indians and the British could never be bridged. This came to mind a few days ago when Kim Jong Il, the president of North Korea, died and there was a sense of shock and surprise in the US media over the public expressions of grief. There was much speculation that the grief was, at least in part, contrived and although that cannot be ruled…
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Pan Am Flight 217, ‘Clipper Malay’ – Franciska Buyers remembered
On December 12, 1968, Pan Am Flight 217, a Boeing 707, crashed near Caracas, Venezuela and all 51 passengers on board were killed. One of the crew members – an air stewardess as they were then called – was Franciska Buyers who must have been 23 years old at the time. All this came to mind yesterday when I happened to google, as I some times do, trying to locate people I used to know when I lived in London as a student in the sixties. I was searching for Anton Buyers, Franciska’s younger brother who was a student at Cambridge University when she was killed. I did not locate…
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“To err is human, to forgive, canine”
I have already posted about my affinity for dogs and how among my siblings, I am the one who is the most attached to them – a couple of my siblings react to dogs with emotions ranging from distaste to disapproval. My children have mixed feelings about them – one is quite fond of them and the other two are fond of them as long as they don’t have to take care of them! The role of working dogs is well known: they have from time immemorial been used by humans in various capacities whether as seeing eye dogs, detecting explosives or drugs, pulling sleds, police work, search and rescue,…
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Reflections on my mother’s death anniversary
My mother in the early 1930s’ . Today is my mother’s death anniversary. Sarah Joseph died in 1965 at Trivandrum Medical College Hospital. She had turned 52 years of age two days prior to her death on March 18. Her death was an event that had lasting repercussions on the family in many ways. She was larger than life and had a certain commanding presence about her. When she walked into a room she was a person one noticed. One cannot help wonder how various events which profoundly affected the family subsequent to her death would have evolved had she been alive. For, at least, the first fifteen years after…
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Reminiscences about Allidina Visram High School
A couple of people have asked me how I select the subjects for my blog. I told them the catalyst is usually something I read or information sent to me. I was recently sent pictures of my high school, Allidina Visram HS, in Mombasa, Kenya (thanks Prem Saint) and it brought back a flood of memories as well as a chance to reflect and ruminate on four critical years I spent there before I left for England to pursue Chartered Accountancy. AVHS looking at the pictures appears to be in remarkably good condition and exactly like I remember it from almost 50 years ago! AVHS, was probably the premier high…
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A Eureka or “That’s funny…” moment
My cousin, Bobby Abraham, recently sent me a very interesting article called “Coming of Age in the Milky Way”. It made for fascinating reading because it was both educational and also offered some context as to where the earth and life on earth fits into the scheme of things. In 1967, two scientists Arno Penzias and Robert Wilson, were working on satellite communications for Bell Laboratories. They encountered what was described as a persistent unfocused, unrelenting hissing noise that made their experimental work impossible. No matter what they did, they could not get rid of the noise. It took a while but they finally realized that they had stumbled on…
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Looking back at 2009
My final entry for this year as 2009 draws to an end – and what a year it has been. These are some random thoughts – mostly personal – about the year that will pass into history in just over a couple of hours. We saw the inauguration of the first African American president of the US and that was something that I did not expect to see in my lifetime. It was a presidency that most of us who voted for him had the highest of hopes and expectations which at this point remains unrealized for the most part. We came to the brink of a financial cataclysm where…
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Christmas – Past & Present
I recently posted that Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday of the year. We are now into the Christmas holiday season and I would have to say it ranks low on my list of favored holidays. This is all the more surprising because when I was growing up in Kenya, Christmas was a holiday that I looked forward to and of which I have joyous memories. Of course, Christmas in Kenya was very different from that in the West and especially in the US. The holiday in Kenya was a family occasion and it was a time for going to church, carol singing, perhaps a nativity play, lots of great food…
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Thanksgiving – a great American tradition
Thanksgiving is, without a doubt, my favorite holiday of the year. It has all of the elements that I find most desirable – a time to gather with family and extended family, lots of good food and fun. Most importantly from my standpoint, it has not been commercialized the way Christmas has in much of the West with the focus being on gift-giving and shopping. In the case of Thanksgiving the only shopping that one does is buying groceries for the dinner. Wikipedia says: “Thanksgiving Day is a harvest festival celebrated primarily in Canada and the United States. Traditionally, it is a time to give thanks for the harvest and…
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A dog is a man’s best friend but……..
Max is our 2 1/2 year old German Shepherd dog – we have had him since he was a puppy. We also have Kaya – another GSD. Kaya belongs to Richard & Saira but we have been taking care of her since May when we returned from our sojourn in India & Asia. We have, what Saira describes as, a “joint custody arrangement” since for about four months of the year Max & Kaya reside with them while we are out of the country and when we return to the US, we assume “custody” unless we are out of town town. We try and keep them together because we feel…
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All in the family
My younger daughter, Neeta, moved from California to Northern Virginia a few days ago. So I now have my three children and two grand-children within a few miles of where I live. I also have my brother, Peter, and his family in close vicinity. So I have an abundance of family physically close to me! It is the dream of most parents – and especially Indian parents – to have their children living close to them though it is an aspiration that is rarely realized given the demands and exigencies of life today. I recall reading an internet posting of a former colleague of mine who hailed from England and…
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“Singer’s Nodules”, Deafness, Silence & Bliss
It has been a while since I updated this blog – attributable to laziness and procrastination. The catalyst for starting again was a thought-provoking email I received from my older brother, George, who is 70 years and was recently diagnosed with “vocal nodules” – also called “singer’s nodules” or “screamer’s nodules”. George is not much of a “screamer” and his singing is, for the most part, limited to a bawdy song about Cleopatra. It is more likely the result of excessive talking having taken its toll as he makes presentations to audiences around the world on the subject of multi-cultural mathematics. Apparently the remedy for this particular ailment is to…