{"id":635,"date":"2010-01-08T17:19:27","date_gmt":"2010-01-08T21:19:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.josephclan.com\/tjblog\/?p=635"},"modified":"2010-01-26T01:51:09","modified_gmt":"2010-01-26T05:51:09","slug":"conspicuous-consumption-or-distorted-values","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.josephclan.com\/tjblog\/?p=635","title":{"rendered":"Conspicuous consumption or distorted values?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have been recovering from the flu and while I lay on the sofa sneezing and moaning and groaning, I was flipping channels and ended up on some wedding channel which highlighted what were deemed “platinum weddings” – and lo and behold, the wedding being featured was that of an Indian guy – Deepak Nath to Sara Hlavka. As befits the designation of “platinum wedding” you can imagine that it was an extravagant event – and it brought to mind a peeve of mine about Indian weddings.<\/p>\n

Indians are by and large a very frugal people. As Russell Peters, the Canadian Indian comedian, said in one of his skits, when an Indian is accused of being “cheap”, his reaction is not one of being offended as much as one of pride – well, Peters exaggerates a bit but the gist of what he says is nonetheless valid. Indians pride themselves in getting a bargain – and feel cheated when they find out that something they bought could have been obtained for much less. This is true for Indians in just about all socio-economic groups.<\/p>\n

Where this propensity to be frugal ceases to apply is when it comes to Indian weddings – and again this is true of all socio-economic groups. Whether one is middle class or very affluent, there appears to be a compelling need to “put on a show”, In the case of the average Indian family in India, they spend much more than they can afford even if it means going into considerable debt especially when it comes to a daughter being married. In the case of the affluent, money is spent to a point of vulgarity. <\/p>\n

Who can forget the spectacle of Lakshmi Mittal’s daughter whose wedding cost between $60 million and $78 million -based on various reports – in an extravaganza that caused it to be named the “wedding of the century” by Forbes magazine. It was a wedding that lasted six days and at least 1200 guests were invited to the occasion where a number of richest people, pop stars, singers, world’s celebrities, business tycoons and industrialists were present. The guests included some Bollywood stars – Aishwarya Rai, Akshay Kumar, Shah Rukh Khan, Saif Ali Khan, Rani Mukherjee and pop star Kylie Minogue. The engagement was held at the Palace of Versailles (once used by Louis XIV). Twelve Boeing jets were chartered to bring guests from India to France with all expenses paid. And there was much more which you can read here<\/a><\/p>\n

Well, the Nath-Hlvaka wedding was obviously nothing on the scale of that of the Mittal one but nonetheless by the standards of Indian weddings in the US it was quite a spectacle. The wedding was held at the Bellagio in Las Vegas with 650 guests at a cost of $1.3 million. Although the bride’s family often bears the brunt of the wedding expenses, in this instance, the entire wedding was paid for by the groom’s parents who are successful entrepreneurs in Minnesota. Incidentally, the success achieved by parents, Mahendra & Asha Nath is a remarkable story in itself and illustrates why the US is called the land of opportunity – two immigrants who arrive with very little and achieve spectacular financial success. Mahendra Nath’s story appears here<\/a> and makes for interesting reading. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This article about the wedding<\/a> captures its highlights and includes some barbs about the ostentatious nature of the event. Here are some excerpts:<\/p>\n

“D\u00e9cor will play an important part of the event, so they\u2019ve hired Vegas event designer Jim McCoy to bring their vision to life. Instead of an actual theme, color is the name of the game, and according to Jim, \u201cThe easiest way to achieve that in a large ballroom is with lots of fabric.\u201d Lots and lots! They\u2019ve ordered over 300 yards of fabric from all over the world, in various textures and colors<\/p>\n

“Two days before the ceremony, Sara\u2019s mom has arrived in Vegas and is being treated to a fashion show. Sara has three dresses \u2013 one for the night before, one for the ceremony, and one for the reception. All designer, natch. For her ceremony, Sara is wearing a traditional Indian two-piece garment, made by one of India\u2019s premiere dress designers. The dress is ivory and pink silk, hand-embellished with beads, Swarovski crystals, and jewels. To give it a Western feel, a small train was added. \u201cI feel like an Indian princess,\u201d Sara declares. Appropriate, then, are the necklace and matching earrings that she\u2019ll wear with it \u2013 there are large rubies and diamonds \u2026 and a $152,000 price tag. And that\u2019s just for the ceremony! For the reception, Sara will change into a $6,000 fitted strapless Monique Lhuillier gown that also has a fishtail train. Another necklace and earring set will complete the look (and set them back a cool $60,000). The last dress will be for the mendhi and sangeet, celebrated the night before the wedding. The event color scheme is shades of blue and green, so Sara\u2019s $10,000 hand-beaded designer Indian dress follows suit. An emerald-and-diamond earring and necklace set adds more bling, for the bargain price of $30,000. How\u2019s this for a little perspective? Jewelry for two nights of parties: $242,000. <\/p>\n

“There were 11 bridesmaids and 21 (hey, it\u2019s Vegas after all) groomsmen. Their flowers alone are $5,000!<\/p>\n

“The sangeet, the \u201cfestival of song and dance,\u201d is like its own separate wedding. Seriously, $25K for the d\u00e9cor \u2013 which included an amazing ceiling treatment made from 500 yards of 12 different fabrics. An outside caterer is taking care of the food and cocktails for (the sangeet at a cost of) $190,000. After all, \u201cIndian weddings are all about the food, so it was important to us that we have an abundance to feed everyone. <\/p>\n

“The big day has arrived and the countdown has begun. The mandap, the ceremony canopy, like everything else, it\u2019s over-the-top. In this case, literally. It\u2019s being built on a stage on top of a swimming pool.” <\/em><\/p>\n

As Robin Leach of the “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” explained in another article: “The altar for the wedding vows was set up in the middle of the swimming pool, which had a glass floor placed over it to hold the 21 groomsmen and 11 bridesmaids and let them all feel they were \u201cwalking on water.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sara has an affinity for all things sparkly, (shocker!) and the mandap certainly reflects that. Strands of tiny mirrors, Swarovski crystals, and bright fabric wrap the structure. Completing the look are 9-foot topiary trees shaped into balls of red roses. Price for the custom altar? $20,000. <\/p>\n

“Meanwhile, the baraat is currently kicking off. This Indian custom is deeply rooted in history. If a bride lived in a different village from the groom, the whole town would walk from one village to another, dancing and singing along the way. Today, the walk may not be as long, but it\u2019s not short in finesse. Deepak had some visions about what he wanted the baraat to look like. \u201cIt all started with a dream I had of having an elephant bring me to my wedding ceremony.\u201d Well, no wedding is complete without an elephant to bring you to your ceremony! And it\u2019s an expensive little ride \u2013 $5,000. Singers, dancers, and a DJ perform in the parade along the way, with family and friends joining in.”<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/center><\/p>\n

Incidentally, according to Leach: “Tthe elephant arrived on a 65-foot trailer that was too big to fit through the Turnberry gates, so traffic had to be stopped along Paradise as it was unloaded and then walked through the gates under its own speed! Deepak mounted the elephant for the one-hour procession along the driveways to the pool where the bride was waiting at the altar.”<\/p>\n

The wedding reception was held in the Grand Ballroom of the Bellagio which has been transformed:<\/p>\n

“Six thousand yards of fabric hangs from the ceiling, and highlights the hand-constructed boxed \u201cchandeliers\u201d made from iridescent crystals and red-rose balls. Pin spot lighting makes the table centerpieces pop, and colored lighting on the columns and walls \u201ccreates Indian-fusion drama.\u201d While awaiting the couple\u2019s grand entrance, guests are entertained by Cirque du Soleil performers swinging from fabric and a giant hula hoop thing. Then, KABOOM! More fireworks signify that the newlyweds have arrived. They appear on the stage \u2013 Sara in her Monique Lhuillier and Deepak in a tux \u2013 to perform their first dance. As he dips her one last time and goes in for the kiss, they\u2019re showered with sparks from yet another pyrotechnics display. The cost for this flashy display of wealth? A mere $5K.”<\/em><\/p>\n

The evening\u2019s feast which including plying the guests with food and drinks cost $210,000. Yes, and Deepak\u2019s dad flew in Bollywood entertainers and a live band from India, and a DJ from New York City.<\/p>\n

Weddings among North Indians are much more ostentatious than those in South India and especially Kerala, though even that is changing. Today in Kerala an engagement party – which used to include just the extended family and a few close friends – now involves inviting at least 500 people. The actual wedding invariably includes at least 1000 people. It has little to do with what people can afford or even whether the invitees are especially close to the family – instead it has become a status symbol where one is expected to invite a lot of people and wine and dine them. <\/p>\n

My father said that the late Very Reverend KE Oommen, a wise and greatly respected priest – who also was the father of Philipose Mar Chrysostom Mar Thoma Metropolitan, the former head of the Marthoma Church – used to say that weddings should be limited to about 100 guests – 50 each from the bride’s side and the groom’s side. Rev Oommen’s point was that there were typically not more than that many people who were really genuinely<\/strong> interested in the welfare of the couple getting married. The rest of the attendees typically turned up either out of a sense of obligation, curiosity or just because it was a social function. I believe that he made a legitimate point.<\/p>\n

As I reflect on the ostentatious weddings held by the Mittals and to a far lesser degree the Naths, the thought that passes my mind is what is it that causes such a display of what I view as conspicuous consumption verging on outright vulgarity? I compare it to the Bill Gates and Warren Buffets of the world who are far wealthier than these individuals and yet feel that they can make best use of their wealth by donating it for charitable purposes. I once read that the Gates’ have established a trust fund for their two children of $10 million each and the rest of their net worth is being given to charity. Warren Buffet is known for his insistence that his children should fend for themselves and not count on their father’s wealth. <\/p>\n

On the one hand, one should not begrudge those who possess great wealth from flaunting it in any way they choose but is there something askew with the notion that one needs to indulge in such ostentatious weddings to demonstrate their success and wealth?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have been recovering from the flu and while I lay on the sofa sneezing and moaning and groaning, I was flipping channels and ended up on some wedding channel which highlighted what were deemed “platinum weddings” – and lo and behold, the wedding being featured was that of an Indian guy – Deepak Nath […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.josephclan.com\/tjblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/635"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.josephclan.com\/tjblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.josephclan.com\/tjblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.josephclan.com\/tjblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.josephclan.com\/tjblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=635"}],"version-history":[{"count":20,"href":"https:\/\/www.josephclan.com\/tjblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/635\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":654,"href":"https:\/\/www.josephclan.com\/tjblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/635\/revisions\/654"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.josephclan.com\/tjblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.josephclan.com\/tjblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.josephclan.com\/tjblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}